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Responding to bullying can be challenging. Confronting
the bully can be a daunting prospect but it is often
the most effective method of addressing the problem.
However, it is essential that the target of bullying
has support and considers the possible outcomes of
a direct challenge. To these ends, the target should
always confide in a trusted colleague or union representative
both to ensure support is available and to allow practical
advice to be given.
He or she should always keep a diary, recording instances
of unacceptable behaviour as evidence, though this
need not be referred to initially when challenging
the bullying.
The diary should contain a written record of occasions
when the target has complained to the individual responsible
or line manager.
It should also contain details of what has happened,
when, in what circumstances and of the effect on the
target. Such notes will be considered as evidence
in any actions that may arise and even minor incidents
that would not be actionable in isolation can contribute
towards establishing a pattern of behaviour.
Occasions on which the target has confided in colleagues,
friends a doctor, etc. should also appear.
The names of any witnesses and their involvement,
if any, should also be recorded. If the witnesses
are supportive, it may also be helpful to ask them
to keep a written record.
Should anyone suffer a stress-related health incident,
such as an anxiety attack, hyperventilating, etc.
(with or without being bullied), this should be recorded
in the workplace accident book before leaving. This
may allow action to be taken via Health and Safety
legislation, should the causes of the stress remain
unaddressed.
It is possible that bringing the matter to the attention
of the bully's superiors - going over their head
- will make the matter worse.
Research carried out by UNISON found that 15 per
cent of those who complained to the bully's boss and
9 per cent of those who complained to their personnel
officer were deemed to be troublemakers. A quarter
were threatened with dismissal, an outcome that was
even more likely when a complaint was made as a group.
In contrast, a UNISON survey of police support staff
found that those who challenged the behaviour directly
on the first or second incident were generally able
to deal with the problem successfully while the same
approach in response to bullying that had become an
established behaviour was likely to make the problem
worse.*
Additionally, Bully Online's, Tim Field warns that,
when a serial bully - someone he defines as having
a personality disorder - is involved, the responses
to being challenged may be extreme and highly variable.
These include:
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Denial
The bully abdicates responsibility by denying
or possibly trivialising the whole issue.
This both seeks to project the guilt onto the
target of the bullying, insisting that the only
problem lies in flawed perceptions on the part
of the target, and exonerating the bully from
any wrongdoing.
Another variation that Field predicts is the
"fresh start tactic" whereby the bully
criticises the target for dwelling on the past
while feigning generosity of spirit with a suggestion
that "we move on".
Field dismisses the latter approach as "false
conciliation".
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Retaliation
The bully follows the denial with aggressive
counter-criticism or counter-allegation. Field
warns that distortion, fabrication, "lying,
deception, duplicity, hypocrisy and blame are
the hallmarks of this stage".
Often the target will be drawn into a long
explanation of the allegations with the bully
hoping to confuse the target or divert him or
her from the real issues.
Field notes that, in both the above instances,
aggression disguised as assertiveness can often
be expected.
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Feigning victimhood
Field predicts that, when the above responses
fail, the bully is likely to feign victimhood
or persecution, preying on the emotions of others,
especially guilt.
The bully may burst into tears, indulge in
self-pity or feign indignation. He or she may
pretend to be "devastated" by the
allegations and claim to be the one who is really
being bullied or harassed.
In doing so, the bully may seek to turn the
tables on the accuser, portraying the victim
as the villain. The bully may also refer to
stresses or pressures in their own lives.
Common to all of these reactions is an attempt
to leave the matter unaddressed. Other colleagues,
friendly to the bully, may also be called in
to support the case that there has been no harassment.
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Reflection
It is very common for people being bullied
to know that something is wrong but find it
difficult to articulate the specific behaviours.
Indeed, the fact that bullying can be so hard
to identify or to prove plays into the bully's
hands.
Those who are able to define candidly the various
ways in which they are being bullied may find
themselves exposed to ridicule and their credentials
being undermined.
Field says: "Serial bullies hate to see
themselves and their behaviour reflected as
if they are looking into a mirror."
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Projection
Bullies tend to project their inadequacies
onto other people to avoid facing the facts
and to divert attention from themselves. This
is achieved through blame, criticism and allegation
and Field states that allegations made by bullies
are often of misdemeanours committed by themselves.
"In these circumstances, the bully has
to understand that if specious and insubstantive
allegations are made, the bully will also be
investigated."
Field also says: "When the symptoms of
psychiatric injury become apparent to others,
most bullies will play the Mental Health Trap,
claiming their target is 'mentally ill' or 'mentally
unstable' or has a 'mental health problem'."
"It is more likely that this allegation
is a projection of the bully's own mental health
problems. If this trap is being used on you,
assert 'projection' as a defence against disciplinary
action or as part of your legal proceedings."
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